ads ad nauseum

I actually like Denis Leary and I have nothing really against pickup trucks.  But the latest F-150 ads reminded me of something that must be stopped.

When I'm emperor nobody ... nobody ... gets to broadcast the same commercial twice in a single commercial break.  I don't care if it's the most brilliant hilarious commercial of the decade with Clios and Lions d'Or coming out it's hooha and more facebook followers than all the Kardashians combined. Watching the same ad twice in 2 minutes; repeated every 10-12 minutes for an hour or two? I prefer waterboarding.

Thanks to the DVR and my urban Canadian attitude toward guns, the TV has not (yet) been shot.  But it could happen if you folks don't get me emperor-ed soon.

P.S. I'm not even sure about an ad airing in two successive commercial breaks but that one could have the ad guys jumping out of windows. So maybe we'll leave that one alone, at least while we jail a few people for bad advertising.

Spammers

This one is pretty easy.

High-volume spamming will be a capital offense.

It will probably be the only crime where torture will be permitted.  In fact, it may be specifically encouraged.

We could fund enforcement with a lottery -- winners get to do the torturing.  I would probablly find out empirically how much of the fake drugs they flogged constitutes an overdose.

This could be a possible use for the Guantanamo facility.