Emperor-in-waiting speaks out on US election

When I am Emperor, neither Hillary nor Donald will be the senior Hoo-ha in my administration.  Neither are likely to be in jail, though Donald may spend a fair bit of time in court and, under my rule, may be subject to sentences involving retributive punishment at he hands of some of the women, contractors, students, workers etc that he has screwed over.  Hillary may get a senior advisory role.

Why? Hillary has years of experience inside some of the most complex, difficult issues facing the USA and the world. She may have made errors of policy and process, but she knows the game, the players, the complexities and the issues. She even has a bit of a track record for being able to work with the "other side" -- pretty much the only way anything worth doing gets done. And deep down, I believe she wants to do "good".

By definition -- of anybody who wants to be President or spends a life as an ambitious politico -- she is not to be fully trusted to keep the "good" on top of the pile of motivations and decision criteria, so she'll need minders and challengers. She screwed up on the email server, and the hacks and leaks are exposing some of the unpleasant "sausage making" that I believe you would find behind any campaign or political career. Nothing has yet been deemed prosecutable. If an "outsider" showed up who seemed to have the wisdom and capability to make the sausages in a cleaner better way I would be singing their praises. A yelling lying unread hate-baiting bully is not that person. And how can you trust anybody who does that to their hair?

Donald has turned a silver spoon into a gold spoon, but by simply investing his inherited money in a fund tracking the stock market, he could have a whole gold flatware service for 12, without bankruptcies, stiffed contractors, etc.  While he has brought the unhappiness of a large chunk of (mostly) white undereducated and distressed men (and women) into the light, he has done it by allowing them to blame the situation on a Hitlerian "other" and by nourishing unfounded conspiracy theories that are hateful, racist and just wrong, but that allow people who feel hurt and disadvantaged to vent and amplify their anger on largely innocent oppressors and enemies.

Meanwhile he lies pretty much every time he opens his mouth -- including when he accuses others of lying.  He is a boor.  He is clearly a narcissist, unable to accept criticism of any sort without the response of a bully. His business are as full of noisy ethically questionable failures as successes.  His "foundation" appears to be illegal and it's main purposes are to use other peoples' money to pay off his business fines and build fountains in front of his buildings.

All this suggests that his decision-making and judgment in his world -- a much narrower and less complex world than Ms. Clinton's -- is worse on nearly every measure.  He lies, he cheats, he screws people over, he thinks only of himself, he is abusive -- why would we expect better thinking and decisions in a situation involving much bigger issues?

He has played a significant contributing role in turning America from a nation that worked and acted to solve problems and who saw their President as "their" President whether or not they voted for him or agreed with his policies, into a polarized nation that can't get anything done and that has a significant portion of the population who, against all objective measures sees their President as illegitimate and evil in a way so vitriolic and wrongheaded that it can only be seen as racist.

In the words of Pres. Obama: "C'mon"

P.S. I just wrote this to get it off my chest before y'all vote on the future of the giant I sleep next to 8 months of the year and with for 4 months.  Thought I did OK.  Then literally on the day I do it, this guy comes along and maybe does it better:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/02/opinion/donald-trump-voters-just-hear-me-out.html

The Pope is Gone but your Emperor Remains

As Emperor in waiting, I have been neglectful with regard to communication with you, my subjects-in-waiting. I have been rather busy visiting the southern domains and spending some time in the Empire's Florida castle.  We have also spent some time dealing with the citizenry's living accommodations in our pre-Emperor role as Realtor.

In the next few days, hours, or minutes (depending on when the phone rings or I get otherwise distracted), we will post another item continuing the original series of articles which showed examples of how the world will be much improved once we are installed as your beneficent Emperor-for-life.

UNTIL I'm Emperor ... buying gas in the USA

As previously posted [Canadians Getting Gassed...] as Emperor I will be giving the gas companies some tough love for their inability to handle Canadian credit cards at US gas stations.

There is a fix.  Kludge is more accurate. Why this code would be written into the pumps' wee brains rather than doing the job properly to accept alphanumeric codes is a mystery.  Also puzzling is why the oil companies aren't telling anyone.

I don't know the original source of this, but it came to me through my banker.  At great expense, I arranged a field trip to Florida to test this out -- wouldn't want to disappoint you.

Ready?

When the pump god asks for your postal code, punch in the numbers from your postal code plus two zeroes.  For example, your pc is "M4E 1G7".  You punch in "41700".  And pump away..

University 101

MBA's, Engineers, Commerce grads, Lawyers, Doctors, Pharmacists, etc. seem to make their way through life in what many would consider a "successful" manner, at least economically.  A lot of arts and humanities undergrads seem to find themselves under or unemployed or in a McJob somewhere well down their preference list. 

Indeed, this article makes a reasoned case -- in a very entertaining and funny manner -- that a non-professional degree gives you little more than a whack of student debt.  So screw Arts, right? Head straight for a professional degree by the least painful method possible, right?

Or dump university altogether and get a trade.

Not under this Emperor, my faux-rational slacker-dude readers.

When I am Emperor, the basic rule is:  All capable will take a minimum of 2 years of General Arts/Humanities before being allowed anywhere near a "professional" or career degree program.  The idea is that you learn to think and get exposed to a wide variety of people, thinking, isms, ists, onomies and osophies BEFORE you get to hang out with a pack of like-minded, like-talented borgs trying to come up with an "edge" or the 4-decimal-point answer to everything. [Many Artsies already know the answer is a nice round 42].

Canadians getting gassed in the USA

When I am emperor, postal-coded Canadians with a credit card will be able to buy gas at the pump just like zipcoded Americans.

For any Canuck who has never experienced this little pecadillo of current US travel, here's how it goes.

You pull into the gas station and shove your credit card into the reader in the pump.  You may get welcomed and offered carwashes or 6-packs of Coke for $1.99.  But you will also be asked to enter your postal code. Security thing: the zip is encoded on the card stripe and you might not know the code if you stole the card. OK.

Nice phone-like keypad ... that will in no way accept letters.  Numbers only.

ads ad nauseum

I actually like Denis Leary and I have nothing really against pickup trucks.  But the latest F-150 ads reminded me of something that must be stopped.

When I'm emperor nobody ... nobody ... gets to broadcast the same commercial twice in a single commercial break.  I don't care if it's the most brilliant hilarious commercial of the decade with Clios and Lions d'Or coming out it's hooha and more facebook followers than all the Kardashians combined. Watching the same ad twice in 2 minutes; repeated every 10-12 minutes for an hour or two? I prefer waterboarding.

Thanks to the DVR and my urban Canadian attitude toward guns, the TV has not (yet) been shot.  But it could happen if you folks don't get me emperor-ed soon.

P.S. I'm not even sure about an ad airing in two successive commercial breaks but that one could have the ad guys jumping out of windows. So maybe we'll leave that one alone, at least while we jail a few people for bad advertising.

Spammers

This one is pretty easy.

High-volume spamming will be a capital offense.

It will probably be the only crime where torture will be permitted.  In fact, it may be specifically encouraged.

We could fund enforcement with a lottery -- winners get to do the torturing.  I would probablly find out empirically how much of the fake drugs they flogged constitutes an overdose.

This could be a possible use for the Guantanamo facility.